He Didn’t Forget….
Monday morning I stayed in bed as long as I could.
I rolled over, and shut my eyes praying sleep would return to them.
It had little to do with the finally here spring break.
Little to do with the purring cat sleeping at my feet.
Little to do with the fact that I really had nothing that had to get it done.
I was waiting.
Time seems to stand still when dreams are on the line.
“I would like to extend an official invite to you to join the 2010 Summer Staff at Glen Lake camp…”
Bundled with emotions, I wasn’t sure what to do next.
Three summers I’d spent at Glen Lake.
All different.
All life-changing.
July 2005.
My first non-basketball camp. Skit night. Pickles. A broken ankle. Cabin 3. Highs and lows. Memories. Friends. Laughter. Jello Fights. Thursday night I sat quietly on Turner Steps and gave my life to Christ.
June 2006.
Tears. Hotdogs. That little green grape. Cheerio Pirate Twins. The turtle dance. Unskit night. Cooked oatmeal and tootsie rolls. ML. Thursday night I sat outside Bekah Faye’s cabin, looking between her and my best friend, tears rolling down my face, knowing that somewhere in all this mess, and all this pain, God was present.
July 2008.
Secret Senior Thursday Night Get Together. Sleep. Leading morning devotional. Heroes. Spoons. Last night as a camper. This little light of mine. Chocolate Syrup. Thursday night I stood in front of turner steps, and explained in words what Glen Lake meant to me.
The place where I grew.
Learned.
Cried.
Laughed.
Celebrated.
It seems fitting that after the six months that I’ve had.
When a wrecking ball came in and tore apart everything I knew.
That I return to the place were I first came to understand.
Grace.
Love. (Be Love.)
Joy.
Peace.
Heartbreak.
Carrying each other’s burdens.
Vulnerability.
Brokenness.
The place where I learned to dream.
Is where I will be returning.
It all seemed unreal.
Finally (nine months later) finishing the application.
Sliding it into the mail slot.
Finding references.
Setting up the interview.
The interview.
Waiting for that email.
\
I didn’t think there was a chance.
Not me, not this summer.
And then the email came.
Yes me.
Yes this summer.
God whispered in my ear “I didn’t forget you.”
For the last six months I’d wondered where God had been.
At times I’d felt Him.
His arms holding me together when life was tearing me apart.
But as I watched what I had planned as my future slip away.
I wondered where He was.
Had He forgotten what He had promised me?
Had He forgotten my dreams?
I had forgotten who I was.
I had forgotten my dreams.
Somewhere between trying to do all the right things, and please all the right people.
I forgot.
I forgot about that girl.
The girl who sat on those steps looking out over that lake and dreamed.
The girl who laughed until her abs hurt.
The girl who spent more time pretending she knew how to make a lanyard than it would have taken to learn to make one.
The girl who talked about that ONE week of her summer for six months after it happened.
Then she started counting down till the next summer.
The girl who had dreams.
Dreams the LORD had whispered in her heart.
But He didn’t forget.
A year ago I wrote my mission statement.
“I will radiate God’s love to the lost and broken of the world. Bringing hope to the hopeless, a friend to the friendless, a father to the fatherless, and loved to the unloved. I will reach out a hand to the lost and broken of the world, whom so many have forgotten.”
He wrote those words on my heart.
He placed those dreams in my soul.
No matter what happened.
No matter how many times I forgot.
He didn’t.
He didn’t forget me.
That email, Monday morning, was my reminder.
No matter what the wrecking ball tore away.
No matter what I feel.
He hasn’t forgotten.
He hasn’t forgotten that little girl.
He is granting some of her dreams, everyday.
Glen Lake Summer Staff 2010.
67 days.
…. And yes, I’m still getting there.
Snow Drifts and Spray Paint 